A Clown, a Camera, and a Hidden Teacher: What a Protest Taught Me About Ego and Innocence

A Clown, a Camera, and a Hidden Teacher: What a Protest Taught Me About Ego and Innocence
Part One of a Two-Part Series

This post is the beginning of something new for me.

As a holistic counselor and coach, I often invite others to explore how personal healing and global transformation are deeply connected. I support people in noticing their thoughts, reclaiming their worth, and stepping into lives of clarity, courage, and compassion. But doing this work—really living it—requires that I practice it too, especially when life surprises me or challenges my ego.

So this is part one of a two-part series where I share a recent experience that caught me off guard in a very public way. It’s a story of embarrassment, awakening, and unexpected grace—one I’m offering here as part of my ongoing effort to walk the same healing path I invite others to walk with me.

Because I believe that our personal stories—when we tell the truth about them—can become lanterns for collective healing. Especially in the messy overlap between the personal and the political, where shame often hides and transformation begins.

I went to the No Kings protest dressed as a clown.
Not to make fun of anything—but as a kind of joyful rebellion. It felt playful, expressive, even healing to show up that way. I wanted to use humor to say something meaningful about resisting authoritarianism, while staying connected to the light of joy.

What I didn’t expect was that I’d end up feeling like the joke was on me.

I was approached by two men with a camera who asked to interview me. I said yes—without asking who they were or what their intentions might be. I was feeling open, spontaneous, and trusting in the spirit of the gathering.

It wasn’t until a few minutes in that I realized:
they were Trump supporters.
Not only that—but their line of questioning made it clear they weren’t just trying to learn about me. They were trying to test me. Maybe even trip me up.
And that’s exactly what happened.

When the Ego Takes the Mic

Once I realized I was speaking to someone from “the other side,” I felt off balance. I stumbled through answers about deportation policies, unsure of the facts. When they challenged me with statistics about Obama and Biden’s record on immigration, I admitted honestly: I didn’t know.

I felt raw. Exposed.

I told them the truth—that I was just beginning to wake up from a long stretch of avoiding political realities. I admitted I wasn’t a historian and that I wasn’t trying to act like I had it all figured out. I was there to learn, not to pretend I knew everything.

Still, I felt embarrassed—flooded with self-judgment and fear of being exposed.
So I asked, gently, if they’d consider not posting the interview publicly. They smiled politely and reminded me that it had been recorded in a public space, and they had every right to share it.
Then they walked away.

That’s when the ego attack kicked in hard.

The Mind’s Spiral

My thoughts raced:

• What if this gets posted on YouTube and I’m made to look like a fool?
• What will people think if they see me dressed as a clown, saying things that don’t sound “smart”?
• Will my clients see it? Will they trust me less?
• What if I’m targeted or tracked now?

And beneath all of that…
a deeper, more familiar voice:

You should’ve known better.
You looked stupid.
You’re not smart enough, not informed enough, not good enough.

Oy vey.

This wasn’t just about a protest. Or politics. Or public embarrassment.
This was about ego shame—old beliefs rising to the surface, trying to take me down.

But What If This Wasn’t an Attack?

Here’s the shift that changed everything:
What if that Trump supporter was actually a friend in disguise?
A teacher my soul invited—not to humiliate me—but to reveal what still needed healing?

That question cracked something open.

What if this wasn’t about being punked?
What if this was about being awakened?

The Real Classroom

From a deeper, more reflective lens, everything we say or do is either an expression of love or a longing for it. And the people who trigger us—especially the ones who push our buttons—are often showing us where we still have healing to do. They give us an opportunity to see our own mind with greater honesty and clarity.

That interviewer?
He didn’t humiliate me.
I humiliated me.

It was my own ego that seized the moment to say,

“See? You’re foolish. You’re naive. You’re not worthy of being seen.”

But here’s the miraculous part, the part about where I begin to reclaim my power:
Just because the ego speaks… doesn’t mean I have to listen.

This wasn’t a moment to feel ashamed.
It was a moment to choose again.

Reclaiming My Peace

Even if that video does get posted…
Even if someone tries to twist my words or paint me as ridiculous…
I’m the only one who can decide whether I carry shame or offer myself compassion.

And today, I’m choosing compassion.

I showed up with a clown nose and a loving heart.
I told the truth, even when I didn’t have all the facts.
I spoke up, even though I was scared.

And if I can love myself through that?
Then I’m doing the deeper work I’m here to do.

Turning It Around

The mind can be a mean place when it’s running on fear.
But what if you—reading this—could use my story as a mirror?

• Maybe you’ve said something awkward and replayed it all day.
• Maybe you’ve been misunderstood and felt crushed by it.
• Maybe you’ve felt unqualified, or not smart enough, or just plain silly.

Let me say this as clearly as I can:

You are not your worst moment.
You are not your clown suit, your nervous ramble, your lack of perfect facts.
You are not your ego’s opinion of you.

You are a radiant expression of something whole and wise and good.
You are still, and always, worthy of love.

So… What Was It For?

It’s a powerful question to ask in any moment of confusion or conflict:
What’s really going on here?
Or even more to the point:
What is this experience here to show me?

This moment?
It was for healing.
It was for remembering that I don’t need to hide—not from myself, not from others, not from the world.
It was for seeing how easily the ego tries to shame me into silence.
And it was for reclaiming my right to be imperfect and still worthy—to dress as a clown, to speak from the heart, to be seen and still be safe.

So, I send thanks to my disguised teacher.
You reminded me of who I am.

And if my peace is ever shaken again, I’ll remember:

No one can take my peace unless I give them permission.
And I’m committed to not giving it away anymore.

Stay tuned for Part Two, where I’ll share what happened after this moment, how I processed the experience further, and what it taught me about healing, activism, and showing up as your whole self—even in a divided world.

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If my writing resonates with you and you’re seeking support, I’d be honored to share this journey with you.

As a holistic mental health practitioner and life coach, I offer virtual sessions worldwide. Whether you’re breaking free from anxiety, navigating a life transition, healing a relationship, or stepping into a deeper sense of purpose, I invite you to step into a space of deep transformation—one where you’ll not only create lasting change but also discover a truer, more empowered version of yourself.

If you’re ready to explore what it means to show up fully in your life, let’s connect. To book a FREE 20-minute Discovery Call, click HERE.

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Note about my use of AI in my writing: I consider myself a thoughtful writer—but not a perfect one. I care deeply about expressing ideas clearly, powerfully, and in service of healing. To help me do that, I use AI as a kind of editor-in-chief. I feed it my insights, stories, and perspective as fully and descriptively as I can, and I ask it to support me in shaping the message with clarity and impact. Every post you read is still my heart, my voice, and my intention—it’s just supported by a digital co-creator who helps me bring the message home.

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• #EgoHealing

• #ShameToSelfCompassion

• #SpiritualAwakening

• #ProtestWisdom