Why ‘Just Love Yourself’ Isn’t Helpful Advice
You’ve probably heard it before—“Just love yourself.” It sounds kind. It sounds simple. But if you’ve ever tried to follow that advice and felt confused, frustrated, or even angry, you’re not alone. Many of us didn’t grow up feeling truly loved or safe. So, when someone says, “Just love yourself,” it can feel like a slap in the face—like you’re being told the answer is obvious and the problem is you.
Here’s the truth: You’re not broken. The problem isn’t that you don’t love yourself enough. The problem is that you’ve been listening to the voice in your head—the one that judges you, shames you, and tells you what you’re doing wrong. That voice, sometimes called the inner critic or false self, doesn’t know what real love is. It only knows how to compare, blame, and punish. So, if you’re trying to love yourself using that voice, you’re going to feel stuck.
Real healing begins when you stop trying to “love yourself” the way the world suggests—through nice words, flowers, or spa days—and instead remember something deeper: You are love. This isn’t about adding something new to make you feel better. It’s about remembering who you already are. When you reconnect with that deeper part of you—the part that is calm, kind, and present—you begin to feel whole again.
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If my writing resonates with you and you’re seeking support, I’d be honored to share this journey with you.
As a holistic mental health practitioner and life coach, I offer virtual sessions worldwide. Whether you’re breaking free from anxiety, navigating a life transition, healing a relationship, or stepping into a deeper sense of purpose, I invite you to step into a space of deep transformation—one where you’ll not only create lasting change but also discover a truer, more empowered version of yourself.
If you’re ready to explore what it means to show up fully in your life, let’s connect. To book a FREE 20-minute Discovery Call, click HERE.
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Note about my use of AI in my writing: I consider myself a thoughtful writer—but not a perfect one. I care deeply about expressing ideas clearly, powerfully, and in service of healing. To help me do that, I use AI as a kind of editor-in-chief. I feed it my insights, stories, and perspective as fully and descriptively as I can, and I ask it to support me in shaping the message with clarity and impact. Every post you read is still my heart, my voice, and my intention—it’s just supported by a digital co-creator who helps me bring the message home.
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#InnerCritic
#SelfLoveMyths
#YouAreLove
#RelationshipHealing
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