I recently heard an inspiring story from a friend that prompted me to write this post about wholeness. They were navigating a challenging chapter in their life with their child and shared a moment when they were having a very difficult day and tears were flowing.
Their young child saw the parent struggling and approached them, saying just a few words that communicated that they could see the parent’s innate completeness, despite the struggle the parent was experiencing. This encounter left a lasting impression on the parent.
Fortunately, at that moment, the parent recognized the deeper wisdom unfolding. She could perceive a greater wisdom coming through the child, even if the child was not aware of it. She responded with gratitude, not from a stance of superior knowledge but as a fellow soul, equal to the child. Both of them were transformed for the better in this moment of genuine reflection. This little story illuminates the path toward embracing and embodying wholeness. It’s from this inspiration that we can now delve deeper into understanding our capacity for healing by seeing wholeness in ourselves and the other people in our lives.
But what exactly is “wholeness”? This is a term I frequently use in my work, so it makes sense to break it down a bit here. Imagine a lovely garden—wholeness could be like realizing you’re one of the many flowers, each adding beauty and uniqueness to the whole garden. Wholeness is the gentle knowing that you’re part of something grander, like a star in the vast sky. It’s the understanding of your intrinsic worth, safety, and love within the beautiful orchestra of life. To know you are whole is perhaps the most important thing one can “get” on the journey to happiness and contentment. And in that knowing, it becomes possible to recognize it in others as well.
Imagine wholeness as an intrinsic light residing within every soul, akin to the brilliance of the sun illuminating the sky—a state of innate completeness and oneness with the Divine inherent in every person. This exploration is an invitation to embrace a transformative perspective, one that allows us to release the grip of the false self (the ideas and beliefs about who we think we are), to shed the guise of the “all-knowing one,” and allow ourselves to be guided by the light of wholeness—be it expressed through the wisdom of a child or a sage elder.
Visualize the freedom that comes with releasing the role of “the Knower,” especially as a parent. Release that attachment to being the ultimate authority in any relationship and embrace the beautiful guidance and love that can radiate from anyone, at any age, if you’re simply open to it. Now, step into a perspective that views each individual, including the most obviously innocent ones we call children, as embodying this essence of wholeness —the core of being where purity and oneness with the Sacred reside. It’s in everyone. It is everyone.
As you release the tight grip of ego, that perpetual need to assert knowledge and control, you create space for something truly extraordinary. You allow the brilliance inherent in the knowing of your wholeness to guide you. It’s a shift from “I know it all” to “I am willing to learn and be guided by the profound wisdom within every being.”
Every person, regardless of age or any worldly category, embodies this essence. This is the essence of the True Self. We are a creation of the “something” far grander than the imperfect beings we generally see ourselves as. Recognizing this inherent wholeness in others evokes a sense of wonder and humility. We are all a reflection of the one, whole mind.
For parents (and everyone), embracing this perspective offers profound freedom. It’s liberating to release the need to always be the authority, to let go of the attachment to being the “all-knowing one.” Instead, open up to being a humble learner, a fellow soul on this voyage of discovery and growth. In doing so, you create space for deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, driven by love, understanding, and a shared journey toward lightness of being.
This story of seeing ourselves and each other as whole and complete is a reminder of the power of not getting lost in our stories, and instead choosing to identify with something in our mind that is much more real and true than the small self believes is possible. When we choose to embrace wholeness, we see the world is happening “for us” and not “to us.”